Rating: R/NC-17ish for dark content, disturbing themes, sex...
Pairing: Matt x Sonny
Summary: Sonny finds out he’s adopted and wants to know the truth about his real parents…but would he better off psychologically if he never knew? He goes in search for the truth, his boyfriend, Matt by his side. Once he knows the truth, he must re-evaluate who and what he is, because he certainly can’t ignore what he’s found…after all; you can’t hide from the truth...
Disclaimer: NOT true. Happened in my head. Sonny gets along fine with his real and adoptive family and has known his real parents his whole life (just not that they were his parents)...I also believe he was younger when he found out about his adoption…? Moreover, the names of Sonny’s ‘real’ parents are made-up.
My other stories: MCR Gerard/Mikey: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
Author's Note: Please, please, please leave me comments, let me know what you think!! You don't know how happy it makes me! ^_^
It’s been almost a month since they told me. That means I’ve been 18 for a whole month, too. And in that single month I’ve learned that the past 18 years have all been a lie. I’m not Sonny Moore. Hell, I’m not even a Moore! I’m someone else. My parents aren’t really my parents; they’re a lie just like Santa Claus. I’m a lie. Everything about me is fake. And I have no idea who I am.
I’ve muddled over this for a while, tormented inside, my world has just collapsed. Those I trusted the most have lied to me from the second they held me. Why was I not good enough? Was I an awful baby? Or did my mother just not want me? Was I an accident or something much worse? Why didn’t she just abort me? Why didn’t she want me?
I’ve tried to hide my torment. I’ve tried to smile and make the same dumb jokes and do the same crazy shit as before; I’d say I’m pretty good at it. But Matt knows me better...he can tell I’m hurting especially when we are intimate. I’ve cried myself to sleep in his arms too many times. It hurts him to see me like this; I know he’s doing all he can to cheer me up...He even took me on a romantic weekend cruise, how he could afford it, I’ll never know. So for his sake and mine own, I’ve decided I must know the truth, I can’t rest until I do.
I go over these thoughts in my head as I watch the sun rise. Matt isn't up yet and no one else is home. Matt sleeps so peacefully in our bed. I smile at him and know that even if everything else about me is fake, he isn’t; and I almost feel as if he is the only one I can truly rely on. I also realize I’m a total sap and mentally kick myself for it.
Sighing to myself, I get up and pull the curtains shut so as not to wake my sleeping beauty. Still wearing only my nightshirt and boxers, I grab my laptop and log on. I know the name of my real mom, Sharon Norsvitch. My father was not listed. She lives near a ritzy neighborhood in Cali. I wonder if her friends knew about me…I decided to do a little Internet research. While I searched for her, I logged onto Myspace and added whomever wanted to be my friend; I also checked KVLT. Hardly anyone was on, and those that were are easily sedated by stupid comments and spelling errors…nobody interesting is on at 6am.
I printed everything I found out about my parents; my grandfather is a prominent political figure, he is currently married to his 2nd wife, and Sharon is his daughter from a previous marriage and she lives less than a mile from her father. She went to a prestigious university and graduated top of the class. She has a job in management. I was born when she was barely twenty; then a junior in college. Perhaps that’s why she got rid of me…I also found out that after I was born she suffered from severe amounts of stress due to hormonal imbalances and was committed to a psychiatric ward. She stayed there for almost a year until she was released and went back to school. Now I knew her father—my grandfather, the school she graduated from, where she currently works, where she was committed and for how long. There were also hints that my grandfather may have wanted custody of me…
It cost me $300 just to get that much information. It cost another $200 for their addresses and phone numbers. But it was from a credible site. I paid for it all with a credit card my adoptive parents never should have given me. Perhaps they might even cover the bill…damn, the truth is never cheap! I sighed and read through the information over and over again, until my attention was distracted when a fan e-mailed me a picture of her chest. I smiled. Perhaps all the stupid ‘bewbs’ comments paid off. I printed that out too.
“So you got up early just to look at porn, eh, little boy?” A voice behind me said.
It scared that shit out of me and I screamed. He was standing behind me and placed his hand over my mouth, as he kissed my neck. I knew he was going to leave a mark, but I let him anyway. I licked his hand and he moved it so I could speak.
“I was doing other things, too—”
“Yeah, I’d imagine,” he said as he stroked my crotch. I could see he was wearing only his Chocobo boxers.
“Hmm….” He mumbled as he kissed me softly. He moved himself on top of me so that I was lying on my back. I briefly wondered how he could be so horny when he had just woken up—not that I minded or anything. I dropped the papers I had just spent $500 on to the floor, I’d get them later; as for right now I’d rather not think about parental figures.
Matt’s hands slid up my Disney nightshirt and rubbed my nipples. I moaned into his lips. He then proceeded to pull my shirt off. It landed on the floor next to my papers. I responded in kind so that our bare chests were pressed against each other. We kissed, our tongues entwined. His hands moved down my body, caressing my chest and stomach. Matt pulled off my shorts and I lay naked underneath him. He smiled when he saw how hard I was. I blushed. He took off his own boxers and tossed them aside as well. I wrapped my arms around him and we kissed more passionately this time. I could feel Matt’s length poking my leg and that only made me harder. He kissed me down my neck and chest, pausing to tease my now-erect nipples with his tongue. I moaned and put my hand in his soft hair. He kissed down my stomach, but stopped before he got to where I so desperately wanted his mouth to be. He looked up at me teasingly. I looked in his eyes, pleading.
“What?” He asked innocently. He loved to tease me like this. I never knew quite what to say.
“I want you. I love you, Matt.”
He smiled, “I love you, too, Sonny,” he said as he diverted his attention back to other parts of my body. I was grateful for that. I needed to feel his mouth on me, and I needed it now.
He kissed the top of the head ever so gently. It was still enough to make me moan loudly. He always loved how he could get such reactions so easily from me. He licked the tip and soon had my whole length in his mouth. I screamed; it felt so good and I was glad the other guys weren’t here. I’m not sure if it’s that Matt is really skilled in bed or that he can read me like a book, but whatever it is, it works! I watch his head bob up and down and I call out his name, his tongue touching every inch of my length. While he does that he massages my perineum with his free hand. It’s too much to take, and often I don’t last very long. I yell out his name as I cum in his mouth. I lay back, thoroughly satisfied and breathing hard. He licks up all of my cum and looks up at me. I smile between breaths. He smiles and pulls me close to him. I wrap my arms around him and he kisses my neck softly. He usually gives me a quick break before he does any more to me. I am grateful for that.
Matt nozzles into my neck and whispers, “You taste good.”
I blush and kiss his lips. There is a light taste of me on his lips, which turns me on a little. I pull him back on top of me to signify I’m ready for more. He grins at me and kisses me again. He lifts my body to an angle easier for him. As we kiss, I feel a finger slip into my ass. I moan into his lips. His moves his finger around inside of me to prepare me. Soon I feel another finger and then another, all gently stroking me inside. I can’t stop moaning now; Matt takes that as his cue to move on. He takes his fingers out and I moan at the loss. I then feel the tip of his head against my entrance. He pushes himself deep inside of me. I scream loudly as I wrap my arms around him, holding on to his back. He is lucky I don’t have fingernails or his back would be completely scratched up. It hurts a little at first; it doesn’t hurt a lot, but Matt is quite well endowed so it takes a little bit to get used to—but I wouldn’t have it any other way. He starts to pick up his pace, slamming into me harder and harder. I hold on to him tightly, screaming in ecstasy. He thrusts deep inside of me, hitting all the places that matter the most. All I can think of is how much I love him and how good this feels. I tell him repeatedly how good it feels. I can tell that I’m getting ready to cum and I try to hold back, I know Matt is close, too. It is becoming harder and harder to resist my body’s urges. Matt hits that spot inside of me, and I can’t hold back; I call his name as I cum. Soon after I feel him cum inside me as he calls out my name. We kiss passionately as he pulls himself out of me.
He shifts my body so that I am now lying on top of him, on his chest, all while kissing me. We both glisten with sweat. I lay my head on his chest and stroke his nipple.
“You’re amazing, Mr. Matthew, you know that?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure of it.” He hugs me tightly. We lay together in a sweet, comfortable silence. He pets my hair and I can hear his heart beat go back to normal. He breaks the silence.
“So, Porny, what else were you doing?”
I giggle. “I couldn’t sleep; so I got up and decided to go online, and guess what?” I was kind of excited to tell Matt.
“You found boobies?”
“You found dicks?”
“No, dammit!” I hit his chest playfully. “I found out about my parents.” The look on his face got instantly serious.
“Um-hmm. My mother’s name is Sharon. She was 20 and in college when I was born. She went crazy after I was born and was sent to a psych ward by the court. Her dad is, like, some big-shot politician. She got outta the ward, graduated with honors from this fancy-ass college, works as a manager and lives in the same ritzy neighborhood as her dad. I also think maybe my grandfather might have wanted me…”
He was silent for a moment. I reached across him and picked up the papers I had printed from the floor. I handed them to him to read. He sat up and I leaned my head against his shoulder.
“Well, what do you think?” I prompt him.
“Your mom’s rich and crazy.”
“She’s ok now, it was a hormonal imbalance that occurs after pregnancy—it’s more common than you might think.” I handed him the papers I printed on that, too.
“Thank you, Dr. Moore.” I hit his shoulder. He read all the papers I handed him. I waited anxiously for a response. I couldn’t take the suspense.
“What do you think?”
“You want to find them don’t you?”
I nod, “I have to at least meet them. I have to know where I came from and who I am…” My voice grew quieter, “…and why she didn’t want me.”
Matt hugged me tightly, “I don’t care what anyone else thinks about you, Sonny, I love you more than anything else in this world; and don’t you ever forget that.”
Tears started to come to my eyes. I fought them back. “I know,” I whisper, “I know.” It’s become impossible to hold back the tears, and I start to sob as Matt holds me tightly, stroking my hair; comforting me.
“It’s okay, Sonny. Shhhh…don’t cry, baby. I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you, my love.”
“I...I have to know…I have to…” I say between sobs.
“You’re not going alone.” Matt insists. I can tell from his tone of voice he cannot be swayed, I don’t want to sway him, anyway. I want him to be with me; I want him to know who I am.
“Ok.” I try to smile. He pushes the hair out of my face.
“Well, they don’t live too far away…” he starts.
“Just the other end of the state,” I mutter.
“Aw, Sonny, it’s not that far…besides think of all the fun we could have with this!” I look at him as if he is insane. “It’ll be a road trip! You, me and the open road!” I like where he’s going with this and I start to smile.
“Aw, ain’t that cute?”
“Fuckin’ nasty, you guys.”
I scream and Matt covers us with a blanket. Derek and Travis are home. I am beet red. Matt remains unfazed.
“What’s up guys?” Matt asks casually.
“You’re home early,” I venture.
Travis shoots me an odd look, “Sonny it’s fuckin’ one in the afternoon!” Derek grins.
I blush. “Oh, ok.”
“It’s ok for us to come home, eh, Sonny?” Derek teases.
“I’m just glad you didn’t come home earlier.” I smile wickedly.
“Me, too.” says Travis.
“But, anyways,” I continue, “Guess what I found?” I pause only for a second, “I found out stuff about my real family. C’mere.”
They came over to us, and I handed them the papers I had printed out—minus the boob one, of course.
“So, you gonna go meet ‘em?” Derek asked.