I roll over and look at the clock. It’s almost 9:00 am. That’s means I’ve been up for almost a half an hour. I just can’t sleep. I wanna go now. I look over at Matt; he’s sleeping so sweetly. I don’t want to wake him, and yet I do. Matt likes to sleep in, so I decide to ride my bike over to the store and get what we need. I get up slowly so as not to wake Matt. He shifts a little in his sleep. I hope he gets up; he doesn’t. Damn. I get up and get dressed. I put on my eyeliner. I take one last look at Matt and grab my CD player, my wallet, my backpack and whatever else I need.
I decide to write Matt a note so he doesn’t worry—if he actually gets his lazy ass up, that is.. I grab a piece a paper and a pen, I write “weNt to da storez on my bYke” I put the list of things in my pocket and head out.
I go outside and put my sunglasses on. I turn on my CD player and jump on my bike. It’s refreshing. I wonder what she’ll think of me…
I spend most of the ride trying to imagine what it’ll be like to meet her. Will she let me in or will she slam the door in my face? I imagine all kinds of scenarios.
I’ve successfully made it to the plaza. There’s a CVS, a Giant Eagle, a Family Dollar, a McDonald’s, and a K-mart. I lock up my bike and head to CVS first. Sometimes they have great deals on eyeliner. I put my headphones around my neck and I grab a basket for ‘convenient shopping’ on my way in. There’s no one there except the ladies that work there. I check out the sales and pick up some eyeliner for myself and for Matt. I start checking things I find off the list. I have to make sure we have enough snacks.
I become acutely aware that two of the ladies working there are following me around. I sigh aloud. I can hear them talking and giggling. I smile to myself. I remember when Matt and did that to old people when we were drunk. I ignore them and continue my shopping. If they want to follow me they can feel free to. I decide to be creepy. I go into the adult diaper aisle, pick up a pack and start reading the back and comparing them. They giggle and try to figure out what I’m doing. I continue looking and comparing. Every now and then I add a “hmmm.” They’re still not bored with me yet and I look their direction. They hide. I hear them say, “I think he saw us!!” Duh, he saw you! Geez.
“Um, excuse me, ladies, can you help me?” I decide to be evil.
One girl shoves the other one out. Her nametag says “Julie.”
She blushes, “Uh, sure, what do you need?”
“See I’m looking for something for my boyfriend. I just don’t know his size…” She gives me a strange look. I hold up the boxes, both of which say 'One size fits all.' “Well, I just don’t know…which one’s more absorbent, do you think?”
“Um..” She is beet red, “I honestly don’t know, sir…”
“Hmmm…well which one sells the best?”
“Uh..I..I’d say the, uh, Depends brand…”
I look at the diapers again… “Do you have any with designs? He loves designs on his panties.”
“N-Not in the adult sizes…only in children’s.”
“You’re kidding?! No way…that’s a shame. Big boys like designs, too.”
“Uh, yeah,” she nods.
“Oh, well,” I hit her playfully on the shoulder, “he’s 23, he’s just gonna hafta use the big potty, now.”
Her eyes are wide and she nods.
I giggle and skip away. “See ya, Julie!!” I call back
I hear them laugh at me. I have all I need from here and I go up to the register and growl. An old lady comes and rings up everything. She doesn’t like the way I look and I’m surprised I didn’t get the “boys don’t wear eyeliner” thing that I’ve gotten at other stores before.
After that, I stop at the other stores. Nothing eventful happened. But at K-mart I hear a girl say the infamous, “Oh. My. God.” And I knew what the next three words will be, “It’s Sonny Moore!!”
Her mother couldn’t stop her and she ran over to me, “Oh my god, Sonny Moore!! I love you!!” She hugs me tightly.
“Hi,” I say.
“What are you doing to that poor boy, young lady?!” Her mom asks.
“Mom, this is Sonny Moore, From First To Last…” Blank stare. The girl rolls her eyes, “They’re, like, my favorite band.” Her mom nods. I talk to them for a while; the girl never removing herself from me, until her mother finally told her to. She tags along the rest of the time I’m there. She doesn’t have anything for me to sign, so she buys Heroine again so I can sign it. I sign it, “Thanx for shopping at Big-K. Love, Sonny Moore” She is thrilled. When I go to leave she asks me to come with her to her car. I go.
“I have something I want to give you,” she says.
“You don’t have to give me anything…”
She opens the car and routs through the junk in the back. She hands me a jewelry box. I open it and inside is a silver Aphex Twin necklace.
“Holy shit! Thanks!” I put it on.
“There’s more.” She hands me a Japan-exclusive Kingdom Hearts keychain.
“Wow! Thank you.” I hug her. “Where’d you get this stuff?”
She smiles. “My secret.”
She hands me a stuffed Chocobo, another Japan-exclusive. “This is for Matt.”
I think of Matt’s boxers and laugh my ass off…
“What?” she asks. I wave my hand.
“Okay…anyway this is for Derek,” She gives me an authentic Nazi pin. “And this is for Travis.” She hands over a rare TurbroNegro CD.
“Wow! This must’ve cost you a fortune!! I can’t accept all this!”
She gets a sad look on her face, “But it’s for you…”
“Ok, ok, well, thanks, the guys’ll love it!” I smile and so does she. I feel through my pockets to see if I have anything to give her. All I have of mine that’s any good are my sunglasses and an anti-Bush bracelet that says “One Nation, Under Surveillance.”
“Uh…I have something for you, too” I hand over both items. She is thrilled.
“Oh my God, thank you!” She hugs me again and then puts on the sunglasses.
“Well, it was nice hanging out with ya but I gotta go, see ya later.”
I wave and run back to my bike. I miss my sunglasses already. I go in CVS again and grab another pair. The girls don't follow me this time.
I head for home. Thinking about all the cool shit that chick just gave me. The guys’ll be happy…if they ever wake up.
I arrive back home and go check on Matt. It’s been a couple hours and he’s still sleeping! I take the stuffed Chocobo out of my backpack and start making quacking noises while poking him in the face with it. Nothing. I sit on top of him and continue quacking and poking. He mumbles and rolls over. I grab his chin and kiss his lips. He moans and tries to move away. I’m getting sick of this.
“WAKE UP!!!” I yell in his face.
“Mmmm….whaaat?” he whines.
“Get up! Now!” I try to roll him out of bed.
“Ok, ok, I’m going, I’m going.” He sees the Chocobo. “What is that?”
I start moving it towards him and say, in a baby voice, “I’m your Chocobo, Matt, and I love you.”
He laughs and hugs me. “Where did you get that?”
“A fan give it to me this morning.”
“Where were you?”
“I rode my bike to the store and picked up the rest of the stuff we needed.”
Matt gets up and stretches. “Ok, let’s eat breakfast, and then we’ll go.”
Matt gets dressed and I go to the kitchen and pour us both a bowl of cereal. He comes down and I pour myself orange juice. He grabs a beer from the fridge. We enjoy a quiet breakfast. I show him what that girl got Trav and Derek. I leave said things on the table for them to find. Matt and I finish breakfast and load our stuff in Matt’s sports car. I’m excited. I jump in the passenger seat and Matt gets in beside me, and I kiss him. He tastes like beer.
“Why for breakfast?” He shrugs. I sometimes worry about him.
“I’ve got the map right here. I pull out an atlas and open it to the right page. I’ve highlighted the roads we’ll take and wrote our in our destination: 1678 Birchdale.
Matt starts to drive and I lay back in my seat.
“You better help me watch for roads!”
“I will! You’re gonna be on the thruway for a while anyway.”
We turn on the thruway. Matt looks my way.
“What?” He has that evil, perverted grin of his on.
“Come on, please? I gotta do all this driving…”
“I’m not giving you road head!”
“It’ll be fun…I’m a good driver, Sonny, please?”
I sigh. He’ll bug me the whole way if I don’t and it is kinda fun—maybe because it’s risky, I don’t know.
“I said ‘maybe!’” He gives me a cute look.
“Fine. But you can’t drink beer when you’re gonna be driving.”
“A few don’t hurt, Sonny.”
“Lose the beer or no head.”
He sighs. “Ok, I promise I won’t drink on the trip.”
I smile. I feel I’ve won this round. I grab my bag and look through it. I put my Aphex Twin CD in Matt’s CD player and put some strawberry flavored jelly stuff in the back of my throat. I love the stuff; it numbs my throat and therefore represses the gag reflex.
I unbuckle my seatbelt and undo Matt’s jeans. He’s not wearing any underwear. He came prepared for this. I smile to myself, tricky bastard. I kiss the tip. I lick to top before putting the rest in my mouth. I hear Matt start to moan, and I keep deep-throating him. I move my tongue up and down all over his length. I know all kinds of little tongue tricks and I love to use them on him. He puts his hand on my head pushing himself further into my mouth.
I don’t notice it, but when I do this to Matt he always speeds up. He is going over 130 miles per hour. But for the moment I am blissfully unaware of anything except Matt’s cock in my mouth.
But then we slow down and stop. I didn’t notice that either. Matt is moaning louder now, I know he’s close, I move faster. He moans really loud and cums in my mouth. I lick up everything. Matt is breathing heavily and I hear a knock. I zip Matt’s pants and look up. I scream. I’ve discovered the reason we’ve stopped: There’s a police officer outside the car. I blush bright red and hide my face behind a blanket I brought.
Matt rolls down the window, “Good morning, Officer.”
“License and registration, please.”
“Sure thing.” He turns to me. “Hey, can you hand me the stuff out the glove compartment, baby?” Matt gets out his wallet and hands the cop his license. I hand him the other things, still hiding behind the blanket.
“Do you know how fast you were going, sir?”
“I clocked you at 134 miles an hour.”
“I apologize for that, Officer.”
“I’m gonna have to write you up, son.” The policeman hands him a ticket. There is a silent pause and I hear Matt roll up the window.
“Good day sir, and drive carefully,” the officer says as he walks away.
“Holy shit! Three hundred bucks! What the fuck?”
“Good job, safe driver,” I mutter.
“He’s gone, Sonny.”
I peak out and see the coast is clear. I bitch Matt out.
He starts laughing.
“It’s not funny, Matt!!” I yell. We sit in silence for a few minutes. I think about it. “Y’know we’ll being laughing at this in a few years…”
Matt smiles, “Hell, I’m laughing about it now!!”