“Perceptions of Reality” (Part V)
Rating: R/NC-17ish for dark content, disturbing themes, sex...
Pairing: Matt x Sonny
Summary: Sonny finds out he’s adopted and wants to know the truth about his real parents…but would he better off psychologically if he never knew? He goes in search for the truth, his boyfriend, Matt by his side. Once he knows the truth, he must re-evaluate who and what he is, because he certainly can’t ignore what he’s found…after all; you can’t hide from the truth...
Disclaimer: NOT true. Happened in my head. Sonny gets along fine with his real and adoptive family and has known his real parents his whole life (just not that they were his parents)...I also believe he was younger when he found out about his adoption…? Moreover, the names of Sonny’s ‘real’ parents and family are made-up.
PART ONE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/3858.html
PART TWO: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/4210.html
PART THREE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/4598.html
PART FOUR: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/5114.html
Author's Note: Please, please, please leave me comments, let me know what you think!! You don't know how happy it makes me! ^_^
I open my eyes the next morning. Matt is lying on top of me. He is not heavy, but I wonder how we switched positions. I run my hands through his silky hair in an effort to wake him gently. When this fails, I kiss his face and his lips tenderly. Still nothing. I am mildly frustrated and kiss him more noticeably on the lips, forcing my tongue into his mouth. He moans and opens his eyes.
“Morning!” I greet. He grunts.
“Sonny, go back to bed, it’s too fucking early.”
“But…Matttt…” I whine.
“Aw, Sonny, can’t I just lay here with the love of my life and relax?”
I smile. He wins again. I cuddle into him and he holds me tight. Reluctantly, I fall back asleep.
I awake the second time to a strange chirping sound. I look up and see a giant housefly’s head in my face. I scream.
Matt is laughing hysterically behind the mask as I toss pillows at him.
“Dork!” I yell. “Where the hell did you get that?” I receive only laughter from Matt.
Still wearing the mask, he climbs in bed on top of me and nozzles my neck. “You gonna get loved tenderly.” Matt teases.
“No!” I struggle to free myself. My stomach hurts from laughing. I finally free my hands and knock that stupid fly mask off Matt’s head.
“Owww…” Matt whines dejectedly.
“Come on, pretty boy, let’s go!” I instruct. Matt stares at me.
“Come on!” I try again. Another blank stare.
I pout. “Matt, I wanna see my family…” He kisses my lips briefly and grabs his suitcase. He routs out what he plans to wear.
“Make sure you look pretty,” I tell him.
“Stop.” I go to my own suitcase and look through it. I pull out all the clothes I brought and look them over. I decide on jeans and a nice t-shirt—not one with stains. I put these on and pose for Matt. He nods. I realize he is hogging the mirror. I would shove him, but I don’t want him to mess up his make-up or put out an eye, so I wait. Once he is done, I immediately take over that spot. I fix my make-up and stare into the mirror. I sigh and turn around.
“Ready.” I announce. Matt nods. I grab the directions I had written down before, along with copies of all my legal and adoption papers.
“1678 Birchdale,” I tell Matt in the elevator, “1678 Birchdale.”
“I heard you the first time, Sonny.”
I smile excitedly. Matt forces a smile back. I can tell he’s worried about me. I don’t want him to worry, so I smile again. I hope that by showing him I’m not nervous (understatement of the year) than he won’t be either.
We climb into Matt’s car and head out. I am so excited. This is, like, the defining point in my life—or one of them at least.
“You better help me watch for the road.” Matt instructs.
“Yep!” I nod. I have a ridiculous smile on my face even though I’m nervous as all hell, I still can’t wait.
I watch the road signs religiously, getting excited every time I see a road that looks like it could be the right one.
And then I see it.
“There!” I scream. “East Birchdale! Right there!” I point to the road on our left.
“Ok.” Matt turns onto it. My stomach is in knots as I watch for house numbers. “We came in on the larger numbers so it will be a little ways to 1678.” Matt says.
I watch the numbers pass…Nine thousands, eight thousands, seven thousands, six thousands, five thousands, and then nothing. The road ends.
“Now what, Sonny?” Matt asks.
I am almost ready to cry. I look at the address again. 1678. I realize my writing isn’t the clearest. Maybe that’s ‘7678.’
“Maybe…” I mutter, “It’s 7678.” Matt looks at my writing.
“Let’s check it out,” I suggest, “If we’re wrong, they can give us directions.”
We drive back up the road. Again, I meticulously watch the street addresses. Five thousands, six thousands, and then seven thousands. I stare at the houses. They’re all nice and fancy. I wonder briefly how much money these people have. Matt and I are driving quite slow now, staring at house numbers. We don’t see 7678. I feel like I’m going to cry. The closest we see is 7686. Maybe I just fucked up the numbers really bad.
“Let’s stop.” I say.
“Sonny…” Matt says, feeling bad for me.
“Let’s stop.” I repeat. I stare at the house and I am sure it has something to do with me—call it a gut reaction. This is it. The house is three stories and has the single most amazing architectural design I have ever seen—a pool on the roof. It looks like it was built to resemble an older architectural design. There are plenty of trees around it and it has beautiful stain glass windows. In the driveway is parked a black Jaguar.
“Wow.” I whisper. Matt and I walk up to the door, papers in hand. I hesitate only slightly and ring the doorbell. I see a cat in the window.
I wait tensely. I hear footsteps and the door opens.
“Hello?” a young man answers. He is about six feet tall with medium-length dirty blond hair and dark blue eyes. He is wearing the old style horn-rimmed glasses and looks no older then 25.
I smile, “H-hi,” I stammer, “I’m looking for Miss, um, Sharon Norsvitch…”
“Yeah?” he gives me a questioning look.
“I’m…I’m her son…”
“Really?” he looks shocked.
“Yeah, my name’s Sonny Moore…I brought all my papers.” The man grabs the papers and looks them over.
“And whose he?” The man gestures at Matt.
“That’s my best friend, Matt.” We don’t want everyone to know we’re dating—yet, anyway.
“Your boyfriend.” The man corrects.
“How?” I stammer. Matt is shocked, too.
The man smiles, “Nevermind. Come in. My name is Dr. Jules Legarde and I’m your uncle. Sharon’s step-mom is my mom.”
“Oh.” I say.
Jules leads us into his spacious living room.
“One sec,” he says. He leaves us alone in the living room for a second. I smile at Matt. I’ve found my family!
“He seems nice.” I whisper.
Matt nods. “He better be.” He shots me a protective look. I smile.
“Back!” Jules walks in with a silver tray of little snack cakes and tea. He sets it on the table in front of us.
He picks up a cake and takes a bite. After he’s finished chewing, he asks, “So how’d you end up at my house?”
“I guess I wrote the address wrong…”
“I know what you did. Sharon lives on Birchdale. This is East Birchdale. That’s your problem.”
“Oh.” I blush, instantly feeling stupid.
“Don’t worry, kiddo” Jules pats my head.
“So,” Matt interrupts, “How long have you been a doctor?”
“For twenty-one years.”
Our eyes grow huge. “You don’t look that old!” I blurt out.
Jules laughs. “I’m 44, dear boy.” I am shocked. He looks so young; I hope I age that well.
“Look,” he says, adopting a serious tone, “I’m gonna make you an offer you’re not gonna take…just as a warning. This family is screwed up as all hell. I’m warning you ahead of time in case you might want to forget about them. Now, I know you won’t, but I wanted to give you a little warning.”
“I still wanna know my family.” I insist. I didn’t come all this way for nothing. Besides, how bad can they be?
“I figured.” He smiles at me sympathetically. “Sharon and I” he pauses, “well, I don’t wanna say that we don’t get along, but…she doesn’t like me as a doctor and I don’t like her as…well, a mother.”
“Why?” I ask.
He sighs. “She’s had a mental breakdown before, and it’s not that she’s a bad person, she just needs help raising kids…a lot of help. Edward—that’s her dad—helps her out but my mom—Ed’s current wife—doesn’t get along that well with the kid. And Ed’s a piece a work, too. I’d keep my distance…”
“The kid?” I question.
“Oh, yeah, Gavin, he’s your brother. He’s fifteen now.”
Brother. I have a brother. I’m excited! A little brother of my very own! Then it hits me: she kept him.
She kept him.
She kept him. The phrase repeats itself over and over in my head. She didn’t want me, but she wanted him? What is wrong with me? I feel the sting of rejection all over. I hold back my tears. I can’t cry here. Matt wraps his arm around me and hugs me.
Jules must have seen my torment, too. “Sharon had a breakdown after you were born. She was in the looney bin for about a year. At that time, she was incapable of raising a child—I’m the one who helped decide that, which is why we don’t get along that well. She could not handle raising a child without hurting herself or it. A few years later, she was pregnant again. I worried about her psychological state that time, too. After giving birth to Gavin, she had a re-lapse. She was put into care again, and this time released after a mere six months. I suggested the second baby, too, be put up for adoption. Ed refused. He had wanted custody over you as well, but I’m part of the reason that didn’t happen. I tried to get Gavin placed up for adoption, but it didn’t work. Ed has a hell of a lot more connections than I do, and was able to override me the second time.”
“Why didn’t you want them to have me?”
“She’s not a mom.”
“What about Gavin, then?” Matt asks.
“He’s screwed up. He’s spoiled. Ed and Sharon buy him everything he wants and he hates them. My mom hates him living in their house. And Gavin has no friends and spends all his time in the cemetery. He’s a good kid, though…”
I nod. Okay, this family is getting a little weird, but I want to know more. I want to meet ‘mom.’
“I wanna see them.” I say.
“Sure,” says Jules. He pauses, reflecting on something. “Hmmm…” he puts his hand to his chin. “Y’know, I bet you have the same father as Gavin. In fact, I’m sure of it!”
“There’s no name on the papers…” I offer.
“Of course, there wouldn’t be,” he smiles wickedly, “I have an idea. I’ll take you to see them, but first we’ll stop at the hospital and get your blood tested. I have to see something, k?”
“O…k…” I look at Matt. He shrugs. I wonder what the doctor is up to.
“Alright, I’ll grab my lab coat, and we’ll head to the hospital.”
We stand up and head for the door. I am so confused; I’m glad Matt is here with me. I can’t seem to make sense out of any of this. Mom (Sharon) lives with Grandpa (Ed) and Step-Grandma (?) with Brother (Gavin)…and Jules is Mom’s (Sharon’s) step-brother…at least I think.
We hop in Jules’ Jaguar. It is really nice inside. Matt sits in the font and I sit in the back. On the way to the hospital, Jules asks me about myself, and I tell him what happened in the past 18 years and I tell him about FFTL. He seems happy for me. He tells me that he’s glad I was put up for adoption and that I have a bright future. I don’t know how to take that.
We arrive at the hospital and Jules leads the way in. I look around as we stroll through the long corridors. I feel awkward being here. Matt squeezes my hand as we walk down the hall. That makes me feel a little better and I force a smile at him. He forces one back. We’re both nervous.
“Alright,” Jules gestures us into a room. He pats the cushion for me to sit down. I hop up on the cushion and kick my feet out aimlessly. Matt watches. Dr. Jules pushes up my sleeve and washes the area. I realize now how much I hate shots. I avert my eyes from Jules to Matt, who makes faces at me. I smile and make faces back. I feel the needle penetrate my skin. Matt and I continue making faces until it’s over.
“There!” he bandages the wound and shows me the vile of my own blood. “I’m gonna go test this now,” he says, “Come on,” he leaves the room and we follow. He shows us the waiting room; “You guys’ll wait here, in the aptly named ‘Waiting Room,’ until I return, which shouldn’t be too long.” He leaves.
I look at Matt, “What if I’m a mutant?”
Matt smiles and hugs me. “Sonny, don’t worry, ok?”
“I can’t not worry!” I pause. “Why couldn’t she keep me? Why was it that she didn’t want me?” I fight back tears.
“Sonny,” Matt hugged me tight and says, in a soothing manner, “I’m sure you’ll get your explanations today, and if not Wanye Brady will have to choke a bitch.”
I giggle and rest my head on his shoulder. I want to know my family, but at the same time, I just wanna go home. I already miss home. Everything is so different already, I don’t know if I’ll even want to hang around my family more than once. Jules doesn’t bother me or anything…I just…Aw, hell I don’t even know how to explain it…it’s just all so confusing.
After waiting a while, Jules reappears. He looks me over and says, “Same as Gavin.”
But Gavin didn’t get taken away. I’m still at odds with myself about how to feel.
“So…who is the dad?” Matt asks.
“It’s not my business to tell you. It’s Sharon’s…but if she doesn’t tell you, I will. I’d rather you hear it from the horse’s mouth…Truth is, I bet my mother doesn’t even know—she’s so ignorant…it’s about time she knew. I never told her…and she won’t wanna hear it…” he looks at us, “Oh, well,” he smiles, “Let’s get going!”
I look at Matt. He shrugs. I don’t like where this is heading and it frightens me. What if I’m a rape baby? What if that’s why she went crazy? What if someone’s still hurting her? Why didn’t Jules do anything? Does he just not care or just not like her? I’m afraid to ask. We climb back into his car.
“How come your mom doesn’t know and you do?” asks Matt. I thank him for asking.
“Well, 1) I’m the doctor, 2) Sharon wouldn’t tell and 3) Mom isn’t gonna wanna believe what happened…and ignorance is bliss.” Pause. “Besides her son is a doctor and she tells everyone how she hates/distrusts doctors, like I’m gonna tell her shit.” He smirks. I nod. I must be an awful, awful baby. I sink into the seat, hoping to disappear. I’m starting to regret coming.
“Hey, let’s check for Gavin and pick him up on the way. He’d probably like to meet you. The kid needs a friend.” I stay silent. I don’t have a clue what to say anymore. I’ll just let things unravel.
We near a beautiful cemetery; all of the graves have blooming flowers and the grass is a rich green. There are healthy trees and plants all around. The place is immaculately taken care of.
“Wow.” I murmur.
“Yep. This is where Gavin spends all his time. He’s the one who takes care of the whole place. He plants all those flowers and everything.”
“Must be a fun job,” Matt mutters.
“He does it for free. He loves it here. He even spent his life savings, I don’t know why his parents let him, on a plot and a gravestone.”
Parents? That means our dad must be around somewhere.
“There he is!” Jules says, pointing to a skinny black-haired emo kid.
The kid turns around. He’s pale with black lipstick and an eyebrow piercing.
“Hi.” He smiles and waves.