Rating: R/NC-17ish for dark content, disturbing themes, sex...
Pairing: Matt x Sonny
Summary: Sonny finds out he’s adopted and wants to know the truth about his real parents…but would he better off psychologically if he never knew? He goes in search for the truth, his boyfriend, Matt by his side. Once he knows the truth, he must re-evaluate who and what he is, because he certainly can’t ignore what he’s found…after all; you can’t hide from the truth...
Disclaimer: NOT true. Happened in my head. Sonny gets along fine with his real and adoptive family and has known his real parents his whole life (just not that they were his parents)...I also believe he was younger when he found out about his adoption…? Moreover, the names of Sonny’s ‘real’ parents and family are made-up.
PART ONE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART TWO: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART THREE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART FOUR: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART FIVE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART SIX: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART SEVEN: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART EIGHT: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
PART NINE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.c
Author's Note: Please, please, please leave me comments, let me know what you think!! You don't know how happy it makes me! ^_^
I’ve barely gotten to sleep, when I feel a hand on my back. They probably want me to move. I ignore it, hoping the person will just leave. Instead, I feel an arm go around me and pick me up. I look up to see Matt.
I swallow hard. I wonder what he wants. I try not to cry. He adjusts me in his arms, lifting me like a bride. I rest my head on his shoulder, and enjoy the moment; I doubt it will last long. I wonder how much Matt hates me. I hope he doesn’t hate hate me. I feel awkward and out of place in his arms, and that is almost enough to start the tears again. I repress the urge to cry. Matt carries me to a nearby motel in silence. I don’t know why he didn’t stay in the other hotel, and I don’t ask. I’m afraid if I try to speak, I’ll cry.
He carries me to the door of his motel room. Somehow, even with me in his arms, he manages to open the door. He takes me inside the small room and places me on the bed. I stare at him and he goes to the fridge. I watch him rout through the fridge.
He turns around, “Here,” he says and puts a can of beer to my black eye. “That might help a little.”
“Yeah,” I nod. I feel so out of place; like he’s a stranger or something.
“Sonny,” He says soothingly and hugs me. I hug him too, the unopened beer still in my hand.
I can help it; I start to cry.
“Sonny,” Matt repeats, “I’m sorry,” I wait for him to finish. He doesn’t. Still, I expect it’s coming: he’s sorry, but we can’t be together anymore. Maybe we can be friends. I anticipate the speech. Instead I’m greeted with silence.
“Don’t cry, baby,” Matt says, petting my hair, “I can explain…”
“What have you got to explain? What have you got to apologize for?” I sob.
Matt sighs, “After you left, I talked with…with…them…and that Sharon bitch is crazy.” He shakes his head, “She said…that she wants…or that she is…having…Gavin’s baby…”
“I know,” I mumble.
“Um, that’s fucked up.”
“Anyway,” Matt says, grabbing my hands, “There was a ton of screaming and I threw a table,” I giggle at that. “What? I did. Bitch deserved it. She broke the damn table, too. Then I punched that Ed fuck. Jules tried to get me to calm the fuck down and Gavin ran away. Jules called the popo and I got the hell outta there before I got arrested. I stopped at the bar and got a couple drinks,” he looks down at my hands when he mentions the bar, “then I came back to the hotel only to find out they rented out our room to some other douchebag. I threw a shit fit and got my ass kicked outta there. So I figured I’d go here since it’s the closest place and watch for you to come back…I guess I fell asleep waiting for you…Sorry, Sonny.”
He didn’t leave me? He still wants to be with me?
“But you think I’m fuckin’ nasty”
“I never said that! I said they were fuckin’ nasty; not you!”
I nod. I muster up all the courage I have and ask meekly, “Do you love me anymore?” I close my eyes, afraid to hear the answer.
“Of course I do!” Matt says as he hugs me tightly, “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” I say, crying tears of joy. I still have Matt! I never thought I’d be able to be with him again. All of a sudden, Gavin’s words come into my head: “If they don’t like you because of your parents, then they are just shallow people who aren't worth you're time anyways.” I cry harder.
“Sonny, I’m sorry!” Matt says, “I mean it!” I have no idea what he’s apologizing for.
“Why?” I ask through the tears, hoping to get him to admit his folly.
“I’m sorry, about the beer. I know I promised you I wouldn’t drink, but…I needed one after that incident. I’m sorry.”
That’s what he’s worried about? I start to laugh.
“Silly,” I hit his shoulder playfully, “I guess I can forgive you.”
“I gotta tell you something,” I say somberly, “Gavin…he died. He shot himself in the cemetery today.”
"What?!” Matt responds loudly. I nod, crying.
“No shit.” He pauses. “Probably after he found out about her…” I nod again.
“Oh, Sonny,” Matt hugs me tighter. He pulls me on his lap and nuzzles my neck. “Don’t worry; I’ll be here for you…” he whispers into my neck. I wipe away my tears and set the still unopened beer on the stand by the bed. I can get my eye to open now, although the vision is still blurred.
I smile and think of Gavin. He wouldn’t want me to be sad. He wants me to be happy and Matt loves me. I make a silent promise to Gavin and to myself that I will be happy with everything I have. I thank the heavens Matt is still with me.
Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed with passion. I turn towards Matt and press my lips against his. His eyes open wide in shock before he kisses me back. I think I feel this strongly because I almost lost him; but the reason doesn’t matter. I slip my tongue into his mouth and wrap my arms around his neck. He puts his arms around my waist. After a little bit, he breaks our kiss and looks me in the eyes.
“You’re a naughty boy; what’s gotten into you?” he narrows his eyes.
“I thought,” I lick my lips. Matt leans in and licks my lips as well. I chuckle. “I thought,” I say again, “that I was gonna lose you. And now I’m just so happy that you still love me…” I squeeze him tight.
“Awww, Sonny,” he squeezes me back. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. I’ll be here as long as you want me.”
“I want you forever.”
“Okay,” he smiles and kisses my lips again. Lost in his kisses, I forget all of the terrible events of the day. All the pain I felt fades away in his embrace. Soon, all I can think about is Matt. I want him now. I push him down on the bed. I smile, perched one leg on either side of him. He smiles back. Nothing exists besides him and I.
He grabs me underneath my arms and flips me over so that he is on top. I blush. I feel instantly self-conscious. What if I’m not any good anymore? I stare at Matt with big eyes.
Matt notices my red face and huge eyes and smiles evilly, “My little virgin,” he whispers in my ear.
My face turns redder. Matt was the first and only guy I’ve ever been with and he knows it. Right now, as nervous as I am, it feels like I’m going to lose my virginity all over again. I flash him a small smile. He kisses my forehead.
“You look hot,” Matt says as he removes my shirt and caresses my chest.
“No, I don’t!” I laugh, “I’ve got a black eye and a ton of scratches!”
“So?” He says. I smile at him. “Besides,” he continues, “You’ll prolly have a lot more wounds when I’m done with you,” he smiles teasingly at me.
“You wouldn’t hurt me?” I say, an innocent look on my bruised face. He kisses my lips forcefully, as his hands go to my belt. I feel it come undone and I lift my hips to help him get my pants off. Soon, I lie naked underneath him. My hands go to his belt and I clumsily try to get it undone. It always takes me longer than it does Matt.
As I play with his belt he rubs my crotch with his hand. I moan into his mouth and try harder to get his damn belt off. Finally, it gives in. I undo his pants and slide them off his hips. He pulls them the rest of the way off, his tongue still in my mouth. I take my free hand and stroke him with it. He is already hard as a rock; knowing that turns me on even more. I press my body against his, so that our erections touch. We both moan as he rubs against me.
“Oh, God, Matt, I want it now!” I moan. I don’t think I can wait. “I want you!” I repeat.
He nods and kisses me sloppily. As we kiss I feel his hand between my legs. I spread my legs apart to give him better access. One of his hands rubs me.
He puts his fingers to my mouth, one by one, and I suck on them greedily. He then pulls his hand away and pushes his lips on mine. I kiss him with all the passion in the world.
I feel his finger, wet with my saliva, at my entrance. He pushes his finger inside of me. I moan loudly, breaking our kiss momentarily. Matt lips find mine again as his finger moves inside of me. I feel another finger slip inside. When I moan again, Matt sticks his tongue in my mouth. I suck on his tongue as a third finger enters me. I am breathing heavily now, my hands in Matt’s soft hair, as his fingers explore me.
“Ready?” he whispers in my ear.
“Yes,” I nod breathlessly. I love him.
He pulls his fingers out from inside of me. I look into his eyes as he readies himself. I smile, as does he. He grabs my hips and pulls me closer to him, as he pushes himself into me. I scream; I always do when he first enters me. It hurts so good! I scream his name. I don’t care if anyone hears us; I feel wonderful right now! I wrap my arms around him, moaning continuously. I’m always loud in bed.
“Oh, Matt! I love you, Matt! Oh, god!” I yell, breathing heavily.
“I love you, Sonny,” Matt whispers breathlessly back.
I feel endlessly happy as Matt pushes himself ever deeper inside of me. Every moment is pure bliss. I scream his name again, my throat becoming dry from moaning too much. I’ve almost hit my peak, but I hold it back, so that I can savor the feeling a little longer. I hate that I cum so soon, I wish I could last longer, but Matt knows exactly how I like it…
I throw my head back and call out his name once more. I’m almost there; so is he. He slams into the spot that makes me see the stars. I scream loudly as I cum. I hear him moan loudly as he follows.
“I love you,” I tell him, kissing his wet lips.
“I love you,” he manages to say through our kiss. We stay like that for moment, just kissing while he is still inside me. He breaks our kiss. I moan as he pulls out of me. He flops down on the bed beside me and I cuddle against him. All is right with the world. I smile and cuddle against him, taking my usual spot on his shoulder.
“Y’know,” he whispers, “I don’t think I could sleep very good without you on my shoulder…” I laugh and hug him tight. Mine. Forever and ever.
The next morning, I tell Matt there are two things I must do before we leave. I ask him whether or not he wants to come with. He decides he will. That saves me from getting a taxi or getting lost.
In the car, I ask him, “So, what’ll we tell Trav and Derek?”
“We tell ‘em your parents are fucked, that’s it.”
“You’ll keep my secret?”
“Of course I will, Sonny.”
“Thanks.” I smile.
We stop at a tattoo parlor. Matt inspects the tattoo artists and insists that I get the most experienced guy there. I get a tattoo of a gravestone with flowers around it on my lower back. In cursive, on the stone, it says, “Gavin.” I feel like this is the only way I can ensure his grave always has flowers on it. It also guarantees that I won’t forget him. The tattoo hurt like hell, but I don’t cry, not when Matt is there. Matt would think I was a wuss if I did. I pay for the tattoo with the money Gavin gave me.
After that, Matt and I stop at a flower shop and buy two big armfuls of plants. We take them to Gavin’s grave and plant them around, careful not to put anywhere the hole is to be dug.
Matt and I also decide to stay there for Gavin’s funeral.