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"Perceptions Of Reality" Epilogue - I have a story to tell from my electrical well

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“Perceptions of Reality” (Epilogue)

Author: mcr_blue_canary
Rating: R/NC-17ish for dark content, disturbing themes, sex...
POV: Sonny’s
Pairing: Matt x Sonny
Summary: Sonny finds out he’s adopted and wants to know the truth about his real parents…but would he better off psychologically if he never knew? He goes in search for the truth, his boyfriend, Matt by his side. Once he knows the truth, he must re-evaluate who and what he is, because he certainly can’t ignore what he’s found…after all; you can’t hide from the truth...
Disclaimer: NOT true. Happened in my head. Sonny gets along fine with his real and adoptive family and has known his real parents his whole life (just not that they were his parents)...I also believe he was younger when he found out about his adoption…? Moreover, the names of Sonny’s ‘real’ parents and family are made-up.

PART ONE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/3858.html
PART TWO: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/4210.html
PART THREE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/4598.html
PART FOUR: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/5114.html
PART FIVE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/5566.html
PART SIX: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/5734.html
PART SEVEN: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/6341.html
PART EIGHT: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/6632.html
PART NINE: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/6751.html
PART TEN: http://mcr-blue-canary.livejournal.com/6945.html



Author's Note: Please, please, please leave me comments, let me know what you think!! You don't know how happy it makes me! ^_^



It’s been almost three months since I met my ‘family.’ Since then, we’ve started a new tour. Matt and I are still together; it seems that I fall more in love with him as each day passes. My tattoo isn’t sore anymore, and Matt says it looks cool. Everyday I am thankful for what I have. I’ve learned never to take anything for granted. My adoptive parents and I have reconciled everything, and I’m no longer angry with them for keeping my adoption a secret.
I am happy. I pause briefly and look up to the night sky, at the stars. I wonder which one Gavin is. It’s hard for me to see them through the glow of the city lights. The cool air blows through my hair and I take a deep breath, letting the New York City air fill my lungs.
“Sonny!” Matt calls, “You coming?”
“Yeah!” I shout and run towards him, holding the sparkler in my hand out for him to light.
~END


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


So, that's it....whaddya think?
Current Location: bewbs
Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: Silly God Disco
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[User Picture Icon]
From:pznxn__kerosene
Date:October 13th, 2006 05:45 am (UTC)
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Woooow that was a long long read, but it was awesome.

Oh jeebuz, the family thing... gakljdkljsdjds; That was disturbing to a really high (low?) level. D: Ewh.

And they're happyyy well mostly. :D That's so cute. hahaha.

Ugh now that family idea is going to scare me for a long long time. D:

I loved it though muchly ♥

*gives koala snacks*
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From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:October 13th, 2006 03:57 pm (UTC)
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thanks...yeah, the family is disturbing, but, it was fun to write ^_^
i hadn't intended it to be so long, but i got a little detail-oriented and it got outta control!! :P
my other fics are prolly gonna end up being long too...
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From:pznxn__kerosene
Date:October 14th, 2006 06:56 am (UTC)
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hahaha, the messed up ones are usually the ones that are the most fun to write XDDD

It's a monster!! Ahh! *dives under nearest chair*

Oh? Are you writing other ones?
From:greenpants59
Date:November 3rd, 2006 06:37 am (UTC)
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well this is rather late.
but i only found this story a couple of days ago.
i loved it.
sonny and matt are so cute.
and man. chapters 9 and 10 had me bawling.
awesome. awesome story!
cheers!
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From:emp4thy
Date:November 10th, 2006 11:12 pm (UTC)
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Holyyy shit. Just read the whole thing.
I actually cried ;_;
It was soooo good and very original XD
Plus, MattXSonny is my OPT.
xoxoxo Lenox
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From:carcrashbeauty
Date:April 29th, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC)
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soo, I've read that over the last two nights...it was kinda...yeah >.<

but I really like the way you created Matt and Sonny (characterwise) and the way they interacted!

the plots sick but still good!

I like your other story better though, uhm...Sonny being an exchange student. also, that other story had me thinking you're German, too.lol forgot why, but there were things, like expressions...(I'm German, that's why)
[User Picture Icon]
From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:April 30th, 2007 01:38 am (UTC)
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...now I'm curious, what'd I say that makes me sound German? (which ethnically I am...but I was born in the US and am just now attempting to learn the language...) I have to know now!! :p
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From:carcrashbeauty
Date:April 30th, 2007 10:35 am (UTC)
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>.< like I said, I can't remember...or was it in your profile? the funny thing is that 'Sonny' was Italian, which confused me utterly seeing how I thought you're German and yet you'd know more Italian stuff XD

ohhh.ok.your AIM name...yeah that was like o.O
and that Fraulien (I pretend that's supposed to mean 'Fräulein' ^^) minor stuff like that. satisfied?^^
[User Picture Icon]
From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:April 30th, 2007 04:02 pm (UTC)
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I suppose :p
Well, if Sonny was gonna be an exchange student, I pictured him being from Sicily...I'm not sure why... I breifly thought about Mexico, but that somehow just wouldn't be as fun ^_~

(stupid 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' rule!!)

my aim name actually came from something Frank (MCR) said in conjection with my 9:00AM (X_X) history course...
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From:carcrashbeauty
Date:April 30th, 2007 06:11 pm (UTC)
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(what??? I'm German, I don't know anything about any rules XD)

you mean you don't even know what your aim sn means???
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From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:April 30th, 2007 07:10 pm (UTC)
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The 'i' before 'e' except after 'c' is an English rule that I'm so used to...

I know what my aim means and it's supposed to be wrong :p
I couldn't get any decent ones; they were all taken... :(


Also, a few quick questions, my German friend, what does "Ich bin ein Auslander" mean? The internet translates it as "I am some foriegn countries" and for some reason that just seems off....
And how in the world do you pronounce "koenig," I only ask 'cause I know Goethe's name is pronounced weird...
Thirdly, do Germans dislike Americans or just Bush? ^_~

(Do you get a lot of dumb questions like this from Americans? lol. We are an ignorant people. ^_^)
[User Picture Icon]
From:carcrashbeauty
Date:April 30th, 2007 08:49 pm (UTC)
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rule: ohhhhh ok. never have heard of that one, too, though. which I, probably, should have XD

ich bin ein ausländer: I'm a foreigner.
(lmao..I just realized...ausländer IS the plural of foreign countries...internet translators are too funny)

könig: the oe /ö is the same a in goethe. and I have no clue how to explain how to prnoucen it. (I really just tried it to another friend, but nope.no way :( ohh..but try: http://www.dict.cc/?s=K%F6nig )

3rd. uhm...I think most German don't care (they're too dumb. but most people hate bush. (always funny at concerts. american bands are always like: yeah, we're from america and we hate bush. and the crowd goes wild XD /rant)

I do think though that there's a prejudice about a stereotypcial american which would be dumb and ignorant.lol. but yeah *shrug* (I personally dislike Germans, lol)

and, no. you're the first :P j/k. actually the only dumb question that really get me mad are : 'you're german? you like hitler?' but luckily enough that only happened twice so far
[User Picture Icon]
From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:April 30th, 2007 11:16 pm (UTC)
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wow, I got the Hitler question when I wore a jacket with a modern German flag (which I got at Hot Topic) But now I get it a lot more because I'm a WWII re-enactor... :/
I'm surprised you didn't get a dumb question about beer. ^_^ j/k (In my German class the first thing they associated w/ Germans was beer, than leiterhosen [can't spell that for the life of me], Hitler was like 5th on the list...then was the VW guy...)
Why don't you like Germans?
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 1st, 2007 11:37 am (UTC)
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jacket: I was always wondering why'd they sell jackets with German flags and who'd buy those...I myself would never wear a German flag...but yeah.maybe that's because if Germans show some kind of patriotism they're marked as Nazi? (so it was actually pretty cool seeing Germany being proud again during the Soccer Worldmastership^^ /rant))

beer? I dont like beer. but I'm told that most ppl dislike american beer because it tastes like water(which I second) and yeah -.- Lederhosen...stupid Bavarians...srsly, they're making our reputation only worse *muttersunderbreath* I mean I dont even understand their gibberish...anyways

VW guy? o.O what VW guy???

Germans..I dunno, they're an bunch of unfriendly ppl. (so I tend to ignore my surroundings, too...but...I dunno) I've been to USA, Canada and UK and there the people are just plainly nice, always smiling at you. (like in shops and stuff) I had ppl apologize at me though I actually ran into them. where as the first day I was back home some stupid girl just went off at me after I asked friendly if she could let me pass >.
[User Picture Icon]
From:carcrashbeauty
Date:May 1st, 2007 11:42 am (UTC)
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>.< I just realised I wasnt even logged in >.< sry, same for the other comm.both mine ^^
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From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:May 1st, 2007 03:25 pm (UTC)
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American beer is crappy...probably because we don't have any purity laws...though I don't really like beer that much anyways...
the dude on the site wasn't speaking hochdeutsch? hmmm.....wonder where he's from....
I know a Bavarian dude...he's hilarious....and he wears lederhosen ^_^
My German professor was saying how Germans hated to wait in line...which Americans seem to love (there were 2 doors one 'enter' one 'exit', there was a long line at the 'enter' which I waited in for a little bit, then everybody watched me go in through the 'exit' and no one stopped me, yet nobody in line followed...)
I just get sick of people here being so flippin' arrogant...a lot of people in my history class think America has the right to do whatever it wants (like invade random countries or assassinate other world leaders because they don't agree with us or severely expliot people) then they wonder why no one likes us...

the VW guy is on my icon...he's awesome ^_^ lemme find a good link for him...







A crazy German dude prbably doesn't appeal to Germans as much as it does to us :p
[User Picture Icon]
From:carcrashbeauty
Date:May 1st, 2007 06:06 pm (UTC)
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the dude on the site was speaking Hochdeutsch (thumbs up for knowing a difference^^) but he is so monotonous...
bavarian ppl dont speak hochdeutsch^^
and yeah, waiting in lines? no way! I've been to Boston and there's this 'wait until you get seated' thingy with restaurants and there were lines..geeeze, while we just went on fromrestaurant to restaurant in search of where we wouldnt have to wait XD

VW-guy: I was already wondering wth that in your icon is. NEVER seen.lmao.he's prolly only known outside Germany?

btw, we shoulda just move on to a instantmessnger XD

hm.yeah, this concept of ....(I had it in school but forget the name.lmao like americans are the chosen ppl by god) that really sucks. but I personally dont apply that on your average american. moreso on the goverment(which sucks in EVERY country anyways...
I'll add you.if you want to or not.heh
[User Picture Icon]
From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:May 1st, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
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I'd say 'divine right' or 'manifest destiny' or something like that...grrr now I can't think of the word either..it's pretty much like were a bratty kid running into someone else's house screaming 'mine!'
oh, well...most Americans don't care...I think were too apathetic, fat and dumb (in my history of terrorism course, the prof. said terrorism increased by 40% and a girl asked if he thought terrorism was increasing...gotta love my school...) -_-

Anyway, more dumb questions: Do you guys have buffets? And somebody told me you can bring dogs in resturants in Germany, that'd be awesome...And when you guys learn English, do you learn British Engliah or American English? And lastly, do you have Wal-Mart (not the crappy little ones, I mean like the big supercenter 24-hour ones)?

I'm not on AIM a lot right now because next week is finals x_x but after that I'll be on more ^_^ *can't wait until summer* :D
[User Picture Icon]
From:carcrashbeauty
Date:May 2nd, 2007 01:16 am (UTC)
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MANIFEST DESTINY! that's it (<3 dont you just hate if you dont know the word but you're SO close to it? XD and I had english advanced, yeah *shameonme*)

lmao @ that girl XD hilarious, I've heard similar stories about German students too, but I went to a better (not really better, but it's not one school for all, but depends on how good your grades are...so I went to a Gymnasium(maybe that helps you seeing how you do know a lot)

buffets? uhm...for once, a furniture in our living-room is called like that. other than that I dunno what you mean >.<
dogs in restaurants, sure.why not? (though I dont recommend taking mine, he'll just run amuck XD)
defintley starting off with BE. but e.g. BE and AE are accepted (like typing and such)

walmart. there is, in fact, a walmart, somewhere in my town. one. (and I live in the thrid biggest town of G. lol)but I think it got bought out(?) by another company.however, Ive never been there (though its on my to-do.list) but I highly doubt it be open 24/7 in fact, I think I stood in front of closed doors once? sides, NO store thingy (not even petrolstations) are opened 24/7. or on sundays.or holidays. >.<

anymore questions?(this is fun XD)

ohhh, gd luck with your finals^^ I'm online prettymuch though, but then again, theres this major problem called time differnce *sigh* we shall see XD

ps: I never got an answer if you update that other story.lol
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From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:May 2nd, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
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gymnasium = college prep, right?
over here a gymnasium is where we do sports and exercise ^_^
buffets are all-you-can-eat restaurants (we're pigs over here and we tend to smuggle food out of the buffets in addition to eating our fill)
so do you prefer BE or AE?
I live in a small town in PA and we have a 24 hour Wally. (Wal-mart owns us)...and most gas stations are 24 hours even on Sunday...isn't gas in Europe more expensive? our's is approaching $3/gallon and we are not happy...how come stores aren't open late?
Do you guys have to pay church tax? How much is it?
Is Rammstein as hot in Germany as they are here...everybody loves 'em...the 'Amerika' song was a big hit :p
I wanna hear crazy/stupid German stories!! lol

What's it like a 6 hour difference o_O

ps. maybe I will...I started to but got in all kinds of trouble (freedom of speech is an awesome myth)
[User Picture Icon]
From:carcrashbeauty
Date:May 2nd, 2007 11:17 am (UTC)
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uhm...gymnasium(which indeed is from the grek word gym=sportsclub) uhm...well, you DO need your abitur (which you only get in gym) to go on to university(here's no college^^) it's kinda the 11th-12th/13th(depends) grade. but you go to a gym already from 5th on. you leanr more stuff and it's just harder than a Realschool(not: real school, but Realschule<=their names like that). below the realschool would be the Hauptschule(up until 9th grade) below that, the uhm...Soncerschule(like ..special school for ppl with....learning difficulties and other disabilities)

buffets. ok..I do believe there are such things...but...not like that popular. I wouldnt know where to go for such a thing.lol
(geeze, take sth with yer? I wasnt even able to finish my so called 'sandwhich' which turned out into masses of salad, a huge roll(Brötchen, I swear I'll never learn the english word everyone does understand) and to top that a giant piece of meat.(ordered in Rock Port, MA)

I personally prefer BE to listen to (dont you just LOVE accents?) but I write/etc in AE. because I'm just used to that, learned much more english by music and internetfriends over in the states. so yeah, it kinda came upon me^^

gas stations...yeah, our gas IS way more expensive and to think of our motors dont burn that much gas than american motors do >.< I have no clue about the gallon, but it's around 1,50 Euro for one litre(I dunno exactly, for our car drinks Diesel)

24/7 thingy. it's law restricted, I think.they're starting to lose that though. BUT even if I just dont think it would be profitably for the stores. and those retail trade stores would die out very soon. so yeah. thats all I know

church tax (this made me laugh very hard) yeah, I do believe(pun? XD) that you gotta pay. I myself have nothing to do with the church or any kind of such stuff. but I dont think it's that much. and also not everyone ahs to pay, like if your parents pay you dont have to pay sth either (so I heard-didnt really listen cuz yeah.interested?me? nope)

rammstein.lol. I was totally amazed(and had to laugh really bad) when I found rammstein cd's in canada. but yeah, they are pretty big. at least in that genre of music. and you srsly like that stupid song america????? I mean I was like WTF? I dont think it's appropriate to have a song like that if you are not american. the more as it (in my eyes) was an assault against the american population, not against stupid bush-government. so yeah, I totally disliked that song. the more as half of it was in german, but once again, directed against non-german persons, leaving them no chance to understand...

crazy/german stories.... o.O uhm...did you know that stuff like Amerikaner, Berliner and Hamburger are pastries? like you get em in the backery? oh wait, the hamburger is a burger you get at McDonald's XD

if you're from PA, yep. 6 hours ^^

ps: o__O well, you coulda still write and just send me XD no srsly, why did you get into trouble?

looking this reply over I realize onc again that I cant keep things short and I tend to digress >.
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From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:May 2nd, 2007 05:03 pm (UTC)
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The sandwich roll, you mean 'bun'?

Accents are fun...a guy once told me I have a southern accent, 'course he also insisted he didn't have an accent, but he pronounced 'accent' funny and NYC-ish...

Are there a lot of diesel cars over there? I don't think there's too many here....'cept the big semis....

Speaking of church, do you guys have those crazy Evangelicals that come up to you and try to convert you or hand out pamphlets? They occasionally show up on campus and we all mock them. ^_^ Or the Jehovah's Witnesses at your door?

I'm actually pretty sick of the 'amerika' song 'cause it was so overplayed...I do have all their cd's though ^_^ which I discovered one song on 'repeat 1' will drive out roommates and roommates' annoying friends... :D

Just curious, when you hear "Pennsylvania" is the first thing you think of "Amish"?
I think we ought to make it in our state slogan: "Come to PA and gawk at our Amish!" :p

Everybody uses Euros now, right? Can you still use marks...if not where'd all the marks go?

JFK is a jelly doughnut!!! ^_~

Ok, here's the whole stupid tale:
I got in trouble because my boss didn't pay me for 6 weeks (just because she didn't like me) so I said it was bullshit and I fucking quit. I wrote a letter to her boss saying she wouldn't pay me and she got in trouble for it, so, a month after it happened, she filed disorderly conduct against me for swearing at her (once again, freedom of speech?). So I was in the newspaper for being arrested even though no one told me that. So I called the cops to figure out what was going on and I talked to the 'arresting officer' who wouldn't tell me anything about my own 'arrest'. (which, actually, believe it or not is legal) So I had a court date, but I found 2 lawyers willing to help me for free and than she dropped the charges and had to pay court costs, but even though she dropped the charges the university gave me a 'disiplinary warning'. And that's why this country's dumber than hell and I want to move to Canada (they give away healthcare too)...
[User Picture Icon]
From:carcrashbeauty
Date:May 2nd, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
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bun! exactly! ^^ thx. though I swear I wont know it anymore next time...*sigh*

what is a big semi? o.O we have a Volvo XC90, which, I think, passes as a SUV? but there's quiet a lot Diesel, I think. we always had a diesel because my father has to drive reaaaaaally much. and I mean really much XD so I dunno, but I could ask my dad.

lmao, witnesses of jehova and such. of couuurse, there's so many great stories about what my friends did to them or wanted to do.lmao. yeah, here's all kinds of creepy ppl showing up >.< but our dog scares them away lmao
just this saturday I was bugged with ppl trying to shove a pamphlet about jesus house(? srsly, where did they suddenly all come from???) into my hands o.O

rammstein.lmao. I do have a shirt of them.(my father bought it -.-) but I'm not a big fan, actually no fan. theyve got a couple of good songs, though. though I once gave my brother a cd.lol. herzeleid oh, and Ive been talking to this girl from australia, and she was like 'du hast' blabla and I went like huh? what do I have? (sth was screwed there but I cant remeber, but it was us talking in english, then she dropped that line and my german mind was like WTF? and utterly confused) then she was like: ohhh, me and my friend once discussed if the song's saying you have(du hast) or you hate (du hasst/haßt) yeah, it was funny back then >.<

PA, lol.no didnt think of amish. are they living in your state that much? I only know them from like the movies XD

euros, yeah, almost.UK not. Swice? I do not think so, and yeah...the easteurope not all. mark.lmao. well, I bet half of it rots in some socks of whatver ppl who thought it'd be cool to keep some. in fact, most peopel do own a couple o coins still(im not better XD) mostly the 1mark coins, becuase they fit into spins and carts and stuff XD where'd they go..I guess into the banks and then got melted? or some cookie monster ate it.am not too sure^^

jfk= yep, pretty much so.too funny when he said that XD

story: ok, this was hard stuff trying to figure out but uhm...yeah?it's kinda hilarious if it actually wouldnt be that sad already(as in showing of the sad state of affairs(<=hey, thats a saying, used properly???or isit just a song?)

canada...heh, guess who'll go there in sep to study? :D

oh, and I came upon a list of questions myself:
off topic: do you know if power plugs in canada are the same as in the states?(the thingy connecting your laptop with the power in the wall)

what's your motivation behind ww2 enaction? I know roleplays a lotta fun but ww2? whats so cool about that? cant see anything o.O

you're in college? whats your major etc? :D

and I know there was more but yeah, forgot about them*insert surprised gasp*
[User Picture Icon]
From:carcrashbeauty
Date:May 1st, 2007 06:12 pm (UTC)
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lmao. just watched the vids. I love how he says 'unpimp the AUTO'
the girl's just....no, ouch, clearly german.lol

and yeah, he's not a bit appealing XD
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From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:April 30th, 2007 11:28 pm (UTC)
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PS. that site is AWESOME and I got stupid with it and started typing in vulgarities and it told me how to say "MILF" in German. lol!
(this is prolly the number one reason my prof never told us about such sites...)
From:(Anonymous)
Date:May 1st, 2007 11:40 am (UTC)
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heh, im glad I remembered. but seriously, why would it tell you what milf (had to look that up XD) means, but not me? there's no german word suggested.lol

note: we do not talk like that guy. he's lacking some sort of accentuation >.
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From:mcr_blue_canary
Date:May 1st, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC)
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darn dude! not even close to hochdeutsch?
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From:bang_b_a_n_g
Date:February 20th, 2008 10:19 pm (UTC)
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I know this story is like... a few years old. but I found it today and OH MY GOD! You're my hero. ^^

It was really good, if not a little fucked. But fucked sdoties are always the best.

I'll stor bugging you now.

xXx-Eirn-xXx
From:(Anonymous)
Date:January 24th, 2009 03:47 am (UTC)

Awesome!

(Link)
i know this story is old... but i love love LOVED it =D
the beginning was so funny and you made sonny so cute and childish... just like real life ^_^
the family thing was disturbing lol... but i felt so sad =P
i actually cried!
it was worth the read
youre a REALLY good writer <3
please keep writing!
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